


Fade To Black

by Shorti



Series: The Spirit and the Shield [7]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Slow Burn, food fic, food is love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-21
Updated: 2016-04-21
Packaged: 2018-06-03 14:37:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6614509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shorti/pseuds/Shorti
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Somehow Captain America has gotten it into his head that she needs feeding. It’s not so much the food as the intention of caring for her that concerns Maria.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fade To Black

**Author's Note:**

> This is my love letter to the amazing food fics that this fandom has written. I adore them all. Sadly, this was meant to be wholly fluff but I can't seem to write a happy ending to save my life.

His cologne catches her off guard in a moment of exhaustion between meetings. Maria freezes in the threshold to her office and leans against the doorjamb.

After a three hour stint in a fox hole outside of Cuu Long, Vietnam, Nat had declared that Rogers smelled like an old man from the fifties and resolved to do something about it. Maria thinks it’s highly ironic that the new cologne is branded as “Guilty” and is one of only two clues that he’s been here. 

Her eyes sweep the room until they land on the insulated lunch bag with the strawberry pattern on it. She takes a tentative step forward and shuts the door behind her. When she reaches her desk, Maria’s arms come down on either side of the bag and she hovers over it like it’s a bomb. Frankly, she’d have an easier time dealing with an explosive.

Somehow Captain America has gotten it into his head that she needs feeding. It’s not so much the food as the intention of caring for her that concerns Maria.

A popup alert on her laptop tells her she’s got a meeting with NATO in fifteen minutes.

Maria blows out a breath and sits down, opening the lunch bag. She’s starving and doesn’t have time to go down to the cafeteria.

It’s always something different but carefully considered. Nothing that needs to be reheated or tossed up. Cutlery is rarely required and a piece of fruit is mandatory.

Today it’s a pastrami baguette with mustard and pickle. A small container with grapes that have been picked off the bunch, washed and had the rough ends cut off and a mini red velvet cupcake. She chooses to ignore the red love heart made of confectioners’ sugar sitting on top of the cream cheese frosting.

At the end of the day she returns the lunch bag to his locker, washed and cleaned, with a twenty-dollar note clipped to its strap. The next morning she finds the bill taped to her laptop screen with a post it note and a drawing of the Hulk. _This is what will happen next time you try to pay_ , the inscription below the caricature says.

It seems a shame to scrunch up the note and throw it in the waste paper basket but that’s exactly what Maria does. Not because Rogers isn’t talented. Quite the opposite. Because she catches a glimpse of herself in the laptop’s reflection and there’s a smile tugging at her lips.

That’s why it has to go.  

* * *

 Pepper doesn’t cook but she makes plans to see Maria for a business lunch. Last minute she has to cancel because the stock market is giving her grief. A courier arrives instead with a picnic basket laden with gourmet treats from one of New York’s finest delis. It’s not lunch with Pepper but it’s a good consolation prize.

The second time Pepper has to cancel lunch she sends something much worse.

Maria’s just grabbed her handbag ready to run out for a quick bite when her office door opens and in walks Stark.

“I’m busy,” Maria says right off the cuff.

Stark gives her his trademark playboy grin. He flips her laptop around and easily accesses her locked profile and then her calendar. “Let’s see, ten o’clock: debriefing, eleven o’clock: security enhancement forum, aha! One o’clock: lunch with Tony Stark, billionaire genius and all round awesome guy!”

Maria can feel a headache coming on. It gets worse when he railroads her into eating at that café just below Stark Tower.

It doesn’t help that the packed lunch crowd cheers when they see him. He shakes hands with passersby and poses for their cameras. At one stage he grabs Maria around the shoulders and makes peace signs above her head. She’s _this_ close to pulling out her sidearm and shooting him in the foot.

Thankfully the blonde waitress diffuses the situation by clearing them a table. Maria’s not in the mood for talking but all Stark needs is an audience. It doesn’t seem to matter that she’s less than captivated.

“I’m thinking of extending it another fifteen floors,” Stark says, referring to his tower.

“Just what the world needs,” Maria mumbles. “Yet another overcompensating, phallic symbol blocking out the skyline.”

“Woo the Iron Maiden strikes!” Stark says. He clutches at his chest and steals her chili cheese fries. “You wound me, madam!”

Maria rolls her eyes.

“If you’re not nice I won’t let you come and work there.”

Maria almost chokes on her sparkling water. “I would never in a million years!”

“I’d let you have all the minions you want!”

“That’s your thing Stark, not mine.”

She stops him from stealing her pickle with a very sharp slap to the hand. He snatches it back and scoops up more fries with the other. It’s like thanksgiving dinner with her cousins all over again.

“So what is your thing? It’s not money, toys or boys. What makes Agent Hill tick?”

She ignores him and takes a bite of burger, ruminating as she chews. Then she realises he’s watching her over the rim of his glass and it occurs to her that he’s after a serious answer. Tony Stark showing genuine interest in another person sets off her warning bells. The explanation is only a sneaking suspicion but she runs with it.

“Tell Rogers not to quit his day job,” Maria says. “Neither of you are very good spies.”

She expects him to pout but instead something sparks in his cheerful eyes.

He pulls out a roll of cash when it’s time to pay and waves off her offer of money. “Lunch for everyone on me,” he says to the waitress. “And keep the change for yourself, sweetheart.”

She blocks the entrance to S.H.I.E.L.D’s New York headquarters, not letting him back inside. “I think one visit from Tony Stark is about all we can handle,” she says.

Stark put on his sunglasses. In his suit and sneakers she thinks he looks ridiculous. “Think about what I said Agent Hill. I’d love to have a Maria back on the team again. I’m partial to Marias.”

 She slips through the revolving door without a backwards glance. There isn’t any way in this lifetime or another that she’s going to play substitute for his dead mother.

When she gets back to her office there’s an email from Pepper in her inbox.

_Thanks for taking Tony outside for a few hours. He needs a play date now and again._

Maria types out a quick reply before her next meeting:  _You owe me big time._

* * *

One morning, after a particularly rigorous training session, Hawkeye tries to poison Maria. She’s preparing the latest field reports for Statistics when Clint and Nat walk into her office. Clint has a Tupperware container in his arms and Nat has a suppressed smile.

This should have been her first clue.

“I made these last night,” Clint says. Maria raises an eyebrow and he stammers, “I’m trying to learn how to cook.”

He places a brownie with bits of nuts and chocolate chips on a napkin and hands it to Maria. Nat flops onto the visitors chair and spins around in heady anticipation.

This should have been her second clue.

Later, Maria can only blame her willingness to take the treat on exhaustion from the morning of sparring with Rogers. In the moment she takes a small bite, peers up at Clint’s expectant grin and spits the morsel back into the napkin. She then disposes of it in the bin like it’s a grenade.

“That bad?” Clint frowns.

“So salty!”

Nat is rolling on the floor with laughter. Clint’s expression turns exasperated. “I must have mixed up the canisters again!”

At least she learns a lesson. Never take food from a man who can spot an ant from fifty paces but can’t seem to read a label right in front of his face.

* * *

As she docks the quinjet on the helipad of the Southern Cross Research Facility, Maria can’t help the spike of apprehension that shoots through her. Normally, checking in on Dr. Banner involves a long distance video conference that keeps him contained in outback Australia, and her safe in her office.  Today however, Banner has specifically requested a face to face meeting.

The bio-metric scanner at the front security door scans her retina and requests a verbal password.

“Hill, Maria. Unlock code 431982.”

“Authorization code verified. Welcome Agent Hill,” says a voice that sounds suspiciously like Pepper’s. Stark did help Banner design the facility after all. The lights in the walkway come on automatically. Maria runs her hand across the dents in the cold metal of the reinforced walls and wonders if this and the arsenal of weapons she’s got clipped to her utility belt are going to be enough should the Hulk make an appearance. It’s odd enough that Banner hasn’t come to meet her at the door.

“Dr. Banner?” Maria’s fingers curl around the handle of her gun. A moment later the kitchen door opens and a waft of spices hits her nose.

“In here!”

She pushes open the door and her eyes narrow. Banner is standing in front of the stove stirring all manner of things in three saucepans. His glasses fog up as the steam condenses when he leans over and opens the oven.

The next five seconds happens in slow motion in Maria’s mind. Unable to see through the condensation on his glasses, Banner misjudges the distance to a saucepan handle and instead is licked by flames. He rears back and collides with the table behind him, sending cutlery and glassware cascading over the edge. The grunt of frustration begins as a gruff throaty thing and ends in a bellow that makes her ears pop.

Maria slams the kitchen door shut behind her, enormous footsteps rocking the facility as they chase her through the exit. There’s no time to consider the consequences of detonating the explosives. She only twist to ensure they fly true and then Maria dives through the metal doors and commands the A.I to lock down the facility.

Even so, she doesn’t take chances. Maria is firmly inside the hovering quinjet when the dust from the Hulks tantrum finally settles.

A very tattered Banner emerges from the off kilter door an hour later. She views him from the windscreen, his glasses snapped in two. He steps gingerly towards the quinjet and offers up a single hand in supplication. In said hand is a green apple.

“Err, I don’t suppose you want this?” Banner says.

Maria taps the transmit button on the quinjet’s speakers. “If it’s all the same to you Bruce, I might take a rain check on lunch.”

* * *

 It gets out of hand when Thor literally drops down on her as she exits the New York office on her way to Capitol Hill. The temporal shift that precedes his coming sets her teeth on edge and when he glances up from his landing the barrel of her gun is aimed between his eyes.

“What’s wrong?” Hill says. She appraises him for a moment, her senses on high alert for extra-terrestrial threats. Then she spots the brown take out bag in his arms and groans.

“It’s lunch time, Lieutenant!”   

“Not for me it isn’t. I’ve got a meeting in forty-minutes and scant time to get there.”

“I could transport you in a mere moment,” he dismisses. “For now, we eat!”

She doesn’t care for his commanding tone, nor the way he clasps his hand around her forearm without asking for permission. When did they become this familiar? The sudden displacement of equilibrium as he hurls them through the air makes her stomach turn over. When they land in Central Park she has to bite the inside of her cheek to stop from throwing up.

He notices none of this as he takes out four tightly wrapped shawarma from the bag, along with two large servings of fries and six cans of Mountain Dew. He swallows the contents of an entire can before she’s even resigned to her fate and sits down at the chess table that he’s commandeered. Maria is well aware of the wide eyed glances they’re getting from the crowd but Thor seems oblivious.

“This beverage is comparable to any ambrosia in Asgard,” he observes. Then he starts stuffing his face. The rate at which he inhales his food could rival Rogers any day. He’s on his second shawarma as she’s still unwrapping the one his pushes in front of her. Maria doesn’t have much of an appetite anymore.

This he notices.

“A warrior needs to keep up their strength,” he comments.

“I’m not a warrior,” she says.

“Who else would point a gun at a God without flinching? I’ve seen you frighten more men with a glance than with all of Stark’s weapons.” Then his tone suddenly becomes ominous and Maria can’t help leaning forward, her sense of doom piqued. “Something is coming, Lieutenant. I know not what it is but when it arrives, earth is going to need its shield maidens.”

“Do you have any idea what’s in store for us?”

He simply shrugs.

“If I eat, will you answer?” She takes a bite out of the shawarma and tries not to gag at the sheer amount of meat in the thing. “I’ve heard that you can bring people back to life with Mjolnir. Is that true?”

Thor raises an eyebrow. “Who revealed this to you?”

“I have my sources.”

It turns out that half an hour is plenty of time to back a God into a corner and watch him sweat out the pound of meat he’s just ingested. As he propels her to her meeting after lunch, Maria lets herself contemplate the title of warrior. Just for a minute. 

* * *

Maria knows full well the roof is going to cave in before she makes the decision to stand and fire anyway. Her shot pierces the tech through the shoulder and the samples he’s attempting to escape with shatter as he drops them. She has a second before the smoke from the flames flare and the world crumbles around her.

Instinct compels her to throw her arms up and protect her head but logic dispels any hope of surviving this. A second before the darkness engulfs her, a solid force barrels into her side. Rogers might as well be the roof he shoves her so hard.  His arm hooks her around the waist and Maria curls into a ball waiting for the world to end.

She can’t move. Her right shoulder is crushed against the doorframe and Rogers’ breath is like a furnace against her ear.

“Maria!” Nat’s voice is frantic in her earpiece.

“I’m here,” Maria croaks.

“Rogers?”

“Also present.”

A soul destroying roar that can only belong to The Hulk causes the debris around them to shift. Something sharp flares in her ankle and she can’t help the hiss that escapes her lips.

“Can you hang on? The collapse caused a gas pipe to burst and we have to deal with that before we can get you out.”

A wayward hand grazing against her groin causes Maria to gasp and miss Nat’s sign off. “What do you think you’re doing, Captain?”

“Checking for injuries.”

“Between my thighs?”

His hand withdraws immediately, although the space is tight and it doesn’t have very far to go. “Sorry! I didn’t realise.”

She can feel his embarrassment through the turning down of his head which knocks against hers. It’s pitch black but Maria can imagine him crouching over her, the shield taking the brunt of the beams. If he’s tired from holding it up, he doesn’t say.

Above the sound of Nat shouting orders, Rogers’ stomach grumbles.

“Curse of a heightened metabolism,” he says. “Could you reach into my side pocket and take out the energy bars?”

“Are you serious?”

“I can’t do it myself right now.”

“You have a free hand.”

“It’s kind of stuck,” he says. The way his lips graze her ear, Maria thinks he’s smirking. “Unless you want me to reach around you?”

“That won’t be necessary.” She doesn’t quite enjoy herself as her fingers reach out tentatively and press against the muscles of his torso. Perhaps she imagines the soft intake of his breath at her touch. She can’t be imaging that his hand tightens against her waist.

As she unwraps the energy bar and brushes against his cheek and then his lips to gain a sense of placement, Maria thinks perhaps dying might have been the better option. Hand feeding Captain America is certainly not in her job description.

 “Are you hungry?” Rogers asks as she unwraps the second bar.

“Not particularly.”

"You should eat, it’s been hours since breakfast.”

“Give it a rest, Captain.”

“That’s an order, Lieutenant.”

Maria’s pretty sure she must have a concussion because what else would cause her to snort and say, “Technically, your rank is symbolic, Rogers. It’s just a title. You can’t really order me to do anything.”

“Eat the damn bar, Hill.” It’s not so much what he says as the tremble in his throat as he says it that makes her swallow hard. This would be the point in their conversation when she would walk the hell away before they do something regrettable. But they’re locked in for now and if she turns her head just an inch to the left, food is going to be the last thing on her mind.  Just as her eyeteeth crunch down on the bar, the pain in her side inflames. Her body shudders.

“Hill?” He embraces her to his chest.

“I’m fine,” she gasps, clamping down to stop from screaming.

“The hell you are!”

Red spots dance across her eyes in the darkness.

“Maria!”

Then the skies above them open up and bright afternoon light blinds her. Twenty minutes later Dr. Russo pronounces her ankle sprained but not broken and Nat helps her onto the quinjet. Rogers gives her the stink eye but Maria turns her back on him, trying to forget that moment when concern overrode his rationality and he called out her name.

She tells herself that's not the reason why she makes the appointment at the hospital. It takes a little while before she believes it.

* * *

 Fury’s office smells like take out when she enters. There’s a McDonald’s bag in the trash can. Maria knows too well the propensity for agents of S.H.I.E.L.D to lapse into poor eating habits, but Fury has a legendary reputation for being a burger and fries connoisseur.

Maria forgets sometimes that just because he’s only got one eye it doesn’t mean he doesn’t see things.

“Sir,” Maria says. The lump in her throat is not unexpected but still inconvenient. “It’s that time again.”

Fury doesn’t answer at first. His back is turned to her as he stares out the expansive view from behind his desk. When he finally turns towards her, Maria can’t help but see those lines beneath his eyes that weren’t there a year ago. She’s pretty sure some of them are her doing.

“If you don’t make contact in three months,” he says, “I’m coming after you.”

Before she has a chance to leave, he calls her back. Maria deftly catches the parcel he throws at her. She unwraps the iconic paper with a shake of her head. Inside is a quarter pounder burger. The cheese makes her hands greasy.

“Make sure you eat while you’re away.”

* * *

Pepper doesn’t want to make the call but she has no choice. Natasha refuses to break Maria’s confidence a second time and there’s no threat that Pepper can make that will scare the Black Widow. Prying isn’t Peppers thing but Maria going M.I.A again doesn’t sit well with her. She knows it’s not her place and though she’s no mother hen, Pepper tells herself that she’s protecting her own interests and those of S.H.I.E.L.D by safeguarding the only liaison that Tony will abide at this point.

“Jarvis, where is Tony currently located?”

“Sir is in his workshop.”

“Would you please ask him to come topside?”

A second later, “Sir would like to relay that he’s in the middle of a very important experiment.”

Pepper tosses the financial report she’s reading aside. She laces her fingers together under her chin and rests her elbows on the glass table in her office. “Please tell him that he’s got twenty seconds to get in here or I’ll come down there and make him very, very uncomfortable.”

Tony bursts into her office fifteen seconds later, breathless and still holding a soldering iron. “Did I win?” he says, checking his watch.

She doesn’t waste time with niceties. “Maria’s gone off grid again. I need you to find out why.”

“Miss Potts you cheeky minx,” Tony says. “I thought you’d never ask!” He takes her place in front of the computer and his hands are almost autonomous as they glide over the keys. “You know we’re both dead if she finds out right?”

“So don’t get caught.”

“Sir,” Jarvis warns. “Captain Rogers is at the door.”

Pepper and Tony exchange glances. “Let him in, Jarvis,” Pepper commands.

* * *

 Steve can’t believe his ears when he hears the news. Romanoff is nonchalant but there’s something in the way her steps quicken as they amble into the quinjet that makes him suspect there’s more to this story than what she’s saying.

“So Hill’s just gone again? Undercover for how long?”

“You know as much as I do, Rogers,” Romanoff says. Steve’s been told more than once that he’s a hopeless liar but that doesn’t mean he’s not attuned to other people’s lies. If this were a Disney movie, Romanoff’s nose would be longer than a ruler.

Fury is just as evasive and by the time Barton shrugs his shoulders at Steve, he’s had enough of the S.H.I.E.L.D brush off. The things Steve’s done that he’s not proud of are starting to stack up, but some of his guilt is allayed when he strides into Pepper’s office and finds her and Stark neck deep in a shady investigation into where Maria could be.

“You might want to avert your eyes, Cap,” Tony says.

Steve crosses his arms. “Just get on with it, Stark.” A small wave of déjà vu washes over Steve at those words. Tony might have had a strained relationship with Howard but there’s no denying that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

 “Holy hell!” Stark says.

“Is it bad?” Pepper sticks her head in front of the screen and Steve’s heart stops for a second, until she rolls her eyes. “That’s just a letter of employment, Tony.”

“Yes, but look how many! FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security. Haha, even HAMMER Industries wanted her at some point. This just won’t do. I saw her first!”

Tired of playing keyboard detective, Stark transfers the search parameters to Jarvis. The A.I offers Stark a sounding board that Steve still finds disconcerting after all this time. He looks up to find Pepper watching him with a hint of something tugging at the crease of her lips but before Steve can figure out what it is, Tony sucks in a breath and swears.

Steve doesn’t have the presence of mind to admonish him because Jarvis is offering up a detailed medical report of a Michelle Cassidy, who has Hill’s face on her medical chart and who is suffering from ovarian cancer.

 Somebody else swears and Steve doesn’t realise it was him until he blinks and finds them both staring back at him open mouthed. The collar of his shirt is strangling him and Steve needs to get out.

“She wouldn’t want us to go after her, Steve!” Pepper calls but he’s stopped listening. An hour later he’s on a flight to Texas.

* * *

Steve despises hospitals. He’s spent more time in them than is humanly comfortable and even though the technology has vastly improved since the nineteen forties, the basics remain the same. Cold sterile building smelling of formaldehyde and chicken noodle soup and reeking of despair.

One thing has changed to his benefit though. The nurses and doctors are so busy now, so self involved that they hardly give him a second glance as he lingers at the entrance to the hallways and doors. He’s disappears by the time anyone thinks to question his loitering.

Steve finds her lying in a bed with her dark hair framing a tense expression. Through the slits in the blinds, Steve sees the doctor beside her bed, reading something to her off a tablet. He takes off his aviators but even his enhanced vision can’t make out the tiny text on the screen. No amount of swallowing can dislodge the lump in his throat.

She nods absently at what the doctor is telling her. His brain can’t comprehend the juxtaposition of Hill, who is always in control, so totally at the mercy of these physicians. Steve can remember a time when he was in her position, weak and out of options, putting his life in the hands of others. He can only imagine the way that must grate at her and he wants…he doesn’t know what he wants. Not when it comes to Maria. Not that it matters. 

Then her lips move and he manages to catch the tail end of what she’s said. “…either I come back whole or I don’t come back at all.” The clamp that has a hold of his chest becomes a razor that eviscerates him piece by piece.

Something collides with his leg and at first he’s grateful for the distraction until he realises that something is a child. A little girl wearing a hijab and an astonished expression in her large hazel eyes.

“Mom!” she screams. “It’s Captain America!” She races off before Steve can grab her but her shrill announcement filters through the entire ward.

If it were any other situation he wouldn’t mind at all. But he knows before the door of Hill’s room opens that he’s screwed.

“She wants to see you,” the doctor says. He doesn’t appreciate the twitch in the woman’s lips as she walks past one bit.

Hill’s eyes flash like two shards of ice and Steve is sure he’s about to be frozen again.

“I can’t even begin to impress on you how inappropriate you just turning up here is, Captain. This is my personal affair and nothing to do with S.H.I.E.L.D or the Avengers.  I’m going to assume you didn’t just come up with the location of the hospital on your own either so you can tell Stark that he’s going to have trouble getting into his suit when I’m through with him…why are you smiling? Is this a joke to you?”

“I’ve never been more serious about a smile in my life,” Steve says. Because what makes him smile is that she’s thinking past this hurdle in a way only Hill can. It doesn’t matter to Steve that the future she envisions is painted red with his and Stark’s blood. “And if you’re going to take it out on Stark you should know that Pepper was the one that put him up to it.”

He wishes he had his shield with him because her eyes dart like she’s searching for a weapon. He’s surprised she doesn’t have a gun in the pocket of the surgical gown and that fact is what makes him sombre again. It hits Steve like a locomotive that this is what Peggy must have felt like when he drove that plane into the water.

“I told you if I needed help I’d ask!”

“Except you don’t ask, do you?” Steve can’t help the accusatory tone in his voice. “You just disappear! I’m sorry. I just couldn’t let you go at this alone. I know you want to, but  you don’t need to.”

She sighs heavily. “I’m not yours to fight for Captain. And in any case, you can’t fight this for me.”

“No,” he says. “But I can fight it beside you.” _I’m with you till the end of the line._ “Bucky couldn’t undergo my surgeries for me either but it felt better knowing he was there.”

“Thanks to your mastery of disguise the whole world is going to know that Captain American was here.” He flinches at that, because he knows the fallout is going to be astronomical.

“If I can draw attention away from you, can I stay?”

Her head drops into her hands and she scrunches up her hair. “Why?”

His answer is immediate. “Because a world without Maria Hill isn’t one I’m willing to contemplate.”

His words hang in the air between then, thick with unspoken sentiment. He’s spent his entire life sidelined in the game of love and now that this choice might be taken away, he’s scrambling for something to grasp on to. Unfortunately, time has never been his friend and before they can settle anything the doctor returns and she’s being wheeled into surgery.

Maria glances back at him. “Go home, Captain,” she says.

“Just come back,” Steve tells her. “You can yell at me all you want then.”

But Maria doesn’t contact him when they finally release her from hospital and he has to learn from Fury that she’s been assigned to New York on a permanent basis.

The next time Steve sees her, some five months later, it’s in a hospital again.

This time it’s Fury fighting for his life and then, not long after, Steve’s ordering her to kill him too.  

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> This is twice as long as I intended and half as good as I imagined but I just can't get my head in the game right now. I'm stuck between wanting to write a Civil War fic before the movie comes out and burying my head in the sand and pretending the movie may still include Maria. 
> 
> Also, I haven't watched Agent Carter or more than one episode of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D which means my research into the MCU is limited. This does not make for good storytelling.


End file.
